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There was a girl. She went too far from God. She promised to stay, but the world seems to be louder than Him, and so she drifted away from His voice. As she went further, her soul became heavier and she was draining..inside and out. She tried to continue moving forward but the road got longer and longer, she couldn't see the finishing line. The wind knocked her to her knees, the right position to be. There and then she remembered the promise she made and she started to cry for help, knowing that she was wrong all this time. But then something hit her in her heart, opening her eyes, her mind, that the promises made in this world can't be compared to the promise He has for her.She realized that she missed that Voice and there was nothing else she could do but to listen. Right when she was needy and broken, she heard the voice, saying..

"Return to me with all your heart."

~Joel 2:12~

...and suddenly she felt a kind of strength building inside her and she knew where it came from. So, she got up and made her way back to where she began. In each step she made, she felt stronger and stronger that she didn't realize that she was actually running..leaving everything she once had behind.

From afar she saw a familiar figure, still standing there, waiting for her. He saw her too and He started running towards her with His arms open, ready to catch her. The road took away almost all the strength she had. But she saw Him smiling joyfully towards her and nothing could stop her until she finally returned to His arms because she knew, she is safe in His arms.

The Weeping Women ~Luke 23: 28-31~

One of the big events I had in my journey walking in Christ happened when I was 11. I still have it kept safely at the back of my head, crafted neatly in my heart. It was Lent season. My Sunday School friends and I were having our little role play on the Way of the Cross. We practised for a few weeks and I was one of the weeping women who followed Him to the Golgotha. Given that role in such a young age, I never really go in depth of the character I was supposed to be.

Jesus turning to them said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children.For behold, the days are coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never gave suck!’ Then they will begin to say to the mountains, ‘Fall on us’; and to the hills, ‘Cover us’. For if they do this when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

~Luke 23: 28-31~

  

The women in the Bible continued following Him with loud weeping. But Jesus turned to them and said:

 "Do not cry for me."

"Cry for yourselves. Your children."

"There will be times when the tears you shed will be real tears. Save your tears for those times."

He didn't want to be pitied. He didn't look for sympathy. The fame. Even when He was about to die, He deal with the reality. He was tempted once, being offered with false glory when the Satan suggested that He jumped from the top of the cliff, not suffering injuries, and be called a living miracle. But He refused fame in that way then, and He refused the fame of false tears now.

As I reflected, the role given to me was not just a mere character. It was a question. Am I sincere? Do I weep over injustice just in order to be seen? For what will the tears be for? Will I weep for those who hurt?  Will I weep for myself? Will the tears I shed be a real tears?

"Jesus, I am moved to tears at the thought of you taking my sins up that hard hill to Golgotha. I want these to be tears of sorrow for my sins, not tears that draw attention to my non-existant goodness. Forgive me when I weep out loud for no good purpose. You show us the seriousness of our responsibility. Grant that we may not simply walk , with nothing to offer other than compassionate words. Grant that in the end we will not be dry wood, but living branches in You, the true vine, bearing fruit for eternal life. In Your name I've prayed. Amen."

"Do not weep for me."

Run! ~ 1 Corinthians 9:26 ~

"Therefore, I do not run like someone running aimlessly.."

I love running. Please don't misunderstood. I'm not an athlete and I don't run fast. Sometimes I didn't really run. I just put my running shoes on, warm myself up, and go into my happy pace. 

Shoes on, headphones in, wind in my hair. I never thought running would be one of my favourite thing to do and one thing I love about my run is the moment I have with myself. To feel the wind,the music I'm listening to, and to listen to the unwritten symphonies in my footsteps, all combining.

When I run, I like to observe the colours of the sky, the transition of it. Sometimes the evening sky was so bright, orange, sometimes it could be light blue, sometimes grey.

It is not easy actually. Sometimes it hurts but it worth. The first time I began to be serious in my run, I think each steps I had was just a sigh of anxiety. I wan't sure what was my purpose of running back then.

But somewhere in that empty run,those dry steps, those meaningless sweat, you can guess who came, catching me from behind, taking the empty space beside me, running along with me, in that very humble track I'm on. It was Him.

Yes, I meet Him in my run. I never thought I would. But I did. 

I guess it was the Holy Spirit that inspired me, telling me to search for a good purpose to continue running. And there is nothing better than making my run a holy one. A time to be with Him, to listen while I run. 

And yes! Since then, my run never be an ordinary run. Because He is there with me on the track. I experienced many things since then. I used to have a ponytail on my head when I run and always, I could feel the sweat dropping from the tip of my ponytail down to my calves. I never knew why, but each time it happened, something reminded me of the journey Jesus was having when He carried the cross to Calvary. How many times He fell down, how the blood and sweat ran down His face. For a minute there, I lost myself. I don't know why but that vision came to me.

My run is no longer the same now. Yes it still hurts but I just can't explain how amazing things can be when grace is all around. How miraculous it can be. It hurts, but I don't dare to lose it, I don't dare to forget how it feels like. The tired I get, the stronger I became. I can't explain that. You know why.

Now I have a solid purpose to run and I'm learning see my life as a holy run. Running with Him on the track called 'life'. Running His mission on this broken piece of the universe. 

So I will run.  Running to Him, running with Him.

"Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air."

~ 1Corinthians 9:26 ~

The Storm ~ Matthew 14~

"Take courage! It is I! Don't be afraid"

Later that night when Jesus went up on the mountainside to pray, the boat began to shake, buffeted by the wave. The wind was against it. The disciples were in the boat in fear for hours, long enough for one of them to ask;

"Where is Jesus? Is God anywhere near?"

Having the instinct that their life was at stake, His face appeared in their mind. And from the storm came an unmistakeable voice.

"Take courage! It is I! Don't be afraid!" (Matt 14:27)

Like the disciples, we too have entered numbers of stormy places. But the thing is, we didn't really see who is coming towards us in the midst of the storm.

The disciples thought it was a ghost coming out from the raging storm. When Jesus appeared, one of the Twelve, Peter, didn't believe and asked to come to Him on the water. So Jesus called him, saying;

"Come." (Matt 14:29)

Peter was finally on the water, walking. But then he saw the wind and was afraid, and began to sink. He cried for help and Jesus immediately reached out his hands and caught him. Peter had shown his little faith. Jesus' question hit him.

"Why did you doubt?"

Why do we doubt? When Jesus calls our name, why do we doubt? Why are we still scared of other thing when we know it is Him who we are listening to? God gets into things. He is ready to reach out our hands when we are sinking. So why? He gets into things. Believe that no matter what it takes.

I entered the stormy places many times and many times also, I sank. But He is never too late to catch me. He gave me signs that He is near. In sky I saw a heart-shaped cloud. I saw millions of stars shining through the darkest sky. In the highway I saw a car passing by with a sticker on its back, saying, "It'll be fine". Even in lyrics, everywhere. He answers me.

Christ is there, in the midst of it all. All we have to do is to look just a little bit closer.

The Wilderness ~Luke 4~

The Wilderness. –Luke 4:13-

And yes, another event in the Bible that I love. Jesus is led into the desert to be tempted by the devil.

For the second time in history an unfallen mind will be challenged by the fallen angel. The second Adam has come to succeed where the first Adam failed. It is in this battle where I found myself really weak. 40 days in the cruel empty space, alone, with the devil crawling around me. I don't think I could stand it. But Christ did.

You and I are no match for Satan. Jesus knows this. So He wear our jersey, faces the test for us. Better still, He put on our flesh. 

"He was tempted in every way, just as we are,yet without sin." (Heb 4:15). 

And because He did that, we pass with flying colours.

 He was tested. What weapon did He used? Yes. He simply quoted the Bible. The scripture. Only God's words..and the devil flee.

Luke 4:3-4

The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.”
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone."

Luke 4:6-8And he said to him, “I will give you all their authority and splendor; it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. If you worship me, it will all be yours.”Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.’

Luke 4:9-12

“If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down from here. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’”
Jesus answered, “It is said: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test’

So each time the evil 'S' comes, just pick up the nearest weapon we have. The Bible. Satan will never give up on us. It will be around us along the path. Just like those time back then, from Gethsemane to Calvary, when the Son of God carried His cross up the hill. The evil 'S' was there along the way trying to bring Him down. The same goes to us. Along our path in this journey called life, it will be there trying to pull us down. The scripture is the answer, the weapon God gave us from the early beginning.

Do not let it go dusty on the altar.